It was suggested to me by Law Enforcement to keep a log, and most of this work was written to protect and defend children. And so far, I've only been able to do what's been required of me. Logging illustrates the results of following through with what we've been taught, and given time and reflection, may help us to develop adaptations that we're currently unfamiliar with regardless of the duress, disruption, obstruction, or interferance which may continue as a result of doing so. You'll find some of the warnings reprinted here:
Guidance and Support.
This is only an anonymous example. My goal is to empower average people to defend themselves without being harmful. In order to do so we need to be able to provide enough information about the harm we suffer to be useful because it's what we've been asked to do, and because very few people read, or understand, the Terms of Agreement we're expected to abide by online. This is only an example, there are no names or locations in these documents, and if dangers persist, the dates will be replaced or removed.
The publication of this log began in 2012, and by 2014, stalking began at the places of publication. Changes to this documentation including ommisions, and malicious efforts to defame the author and invalidate the testimony became unmanageable by 2013.
By 2015, I was carrying a small library of content and I couldn't keep up with verification of all the documents, so I've provided warnings in documentation I've found compromised. I was asked not to log early childhood incidents the author's mother considered vulgar, and entries describing adultery that may have resulted in the physical assault of the author that might be considered evasive, but I have not completely removed these examples. Instead, I'm using them as examples of how a more general description of the original log entry, and vulgar behavior in the article Self Examination might be used to avoid conflict with the expecations of law enforcment and the parties involved. It may be considered irrational to report an incident that leads to an assault, but we are required to do so when seeking health care to treat an injury that results from a crime.
I'm making use of some of what we've been taught by our Founder, Sir Tim Berners Lee, by carefully using directory structures to store incidents safely in locations that logically represent the time of the incident. Timelines don't need to be public, and are more likely to be safe if they're not, but this example is meant to be instructive and useful to others. Controversial work, or incidents that may be disputed might best be kept private are used here to illustrate the process of drawing the line. Two problems present most frequently. Efforts to reframe the work as hate, and/or confusion. I'm encountering what amounts to 'word salads' in this log recently, so am continuing to clarify what might be considered confusion, or an effort to obscure.
(Please see one example of a Constitutional Limitations)
2-8-2020: Found defamation on the phone log. Intentional fraudulent claims made in the document include:
1962: Visited Grandma while on vacation abroad, and got lost following a cat down the avenue.
1964: Sex conduct ends my parents marriage. Strange dreams, ear aches and pressure I don't understand disturbs my sleep. Mother comforts me by using a hot water bottle wrapped with a hand towel on my pillow to warm the area and by rocking me in her chair.
1960's Stray cats are rounded up and brought to the University for experimentation involving the use of electrodes in their heads.
1960's My father's brother slides off a muddy road in the dark onto the edge of a cliff with us in the back. Dad got out and, after several tries, pushes us back onto the road.
1965: Mounting pressures become an indulgence. I bang my head on the walls, grimace at the dinner table, and grunt and groan on the floor in the bathroom hallway.
1967: A specialist put tubes in my ears to relieve my earaches, but while swimming on a ocean-liner, water from the pool drained into my inner ear.
1960's: My mother's brother, a girl across the street, and the pilot of the airplane that flew us back to our grandma's house from a stay with my father's brother all die violent deaths.
1968: My Step-Father requires kisses before going to bed by using his tongue and one lip to mock the impression of the 'animals' in Dinkytown where we went to school.
1968: While tingling each other's backs in the living room with friends, my Step-Dad joins in by tickling our necks. When I laughed, he choked me until I couldn't breathe anymore.
1968: Taught to tie a neck tie under the eyelet to the jumper my brother used to learn to walk.
1968: Melted down my injection molding equipment when we were required to go to Church (I left it plugged in behind the couch).
1969: While digging out my Scoutmaster's basement, and working on the farm, we're introduced to alcohol. "Work like a man, drink like a man!" we were told, so I enjoyed my new privilege.
1970: After cleaning up from work at my Step Father's brother-in-law's farm, my Step-Father's powers of creation displays for us. While I don't remember what happened after the initial shock of the incident, we prayed the Rosary that night, and I later took my reports of that incident and others to therapy.
1974: Required to provide a colonic to my little brother before bedtime, my mother told me how to provide the procedure while painting her nails and before leaving for dinner with a friend. When I asked him if he'd like to do it himself, he said: "No, Mom always does it for me".
1975: Required to strip my dirty clothes off in the mudroom before going to my room after work on the sod farm.
1975: Approached from behind, my Step-Father's erection becomes more difficult to avoid while undressed and putting my clothes in the mudroom laundry machine.
Even if I was offended by a father I didn't know well, or a power of creation that we don't always have control over, after careful study of spiritual teachings, I realized that God, and His power to create can only be a consciousness in the world if we see Him in our community. It is His conscious contact with us that gives us the power to be aware of His judgements and our duties. Though our parents may not be the best example of God in our lives, when we're children, there are none other more reliable to turn to.
We're not always conscious of His judgement because we are the vitality, activity and actuality of the state He posits, but we wouldn't have an understanding of the problems we face without His consciousness. In that moment of awareness, our consciousness becomes His actuality and our duties become clear.
(Witnessing evidence of the works of love ought to be followed by reverence.)
1975: While dreaming of a young girl in bed, my Step Dad watches through my bedroom window outside in the dark.
1975: Interrogated by my Step-Father repeatedly asking "Why do you leave the lights on?" (later I realized this might be because by doing so, I provided the opportunity to observe my behavior. Until until I took at good look at that fact his questions tortured me).
1976: Felt up by my boss while on the job.
1976: Beaten-up by the side-kick of 'the boss', who also told me not to be the spokesperson for the crew.
Spring 1978: Went with a friend to get a job out of State. I thought we'd both get hired, but he didn't, and it may have been my assumptions that cost him the time and money to apply.
Summer 1978: Lost all my belongings when I left my work camp for a weekend with the family (The thief left my hardhat with defecation in it, and a sock he wiped with).
Fall of 1978: Went to work down south for a while and witnessed my step mother peel the scab off my half brother's penis after his circumcision. He cried, but there was nothing I could do about it. I don't really know why I had to see that happen, but its troubled me ever since.
Summer 1979: Discussed concerns about my Step-Father's behavior with his brother, a Priest. He suggestively motioned with his eyes to join him in my bed.
1979: Drug and alcohol induced spiritual experience while fishing on a lake with a friend.
1980: A spiritual experience crashes me to my knees while in treatment for alcoholism. I remembered a repressed memory while doing personal inventory.
Fall 1981: Disciplined my brother while medicated on tranquilizers by striking him when he refused to go to bed by 10:30 PM (it was mother's expectation of me to require him to do so).
1982: Started experiencing new fields and energies as a result of disciplining myself to daily meditation, and taking guidance from a good friend.
1984: Enjoyed a new sense of freedom when living on my own and returning to school.
1984: A biohazard sign is hung on my door when hospitalized by recurring trauma because I was placed in an apartment with a person infected by HIV. Resulting negativity leads to damaging opinions.
1986: Shortly after hosting a Christmas Party for my family, my girlfriend attempts suicide, and I find myself groping on my hands and knees on the floor of my apartment with no light in my imagination for what might have caused such a thing to occur.
1989: Someone told a police officer, who told the Mother of my Daughter, that 'white stuff' was found on my daughter's body in the hospital (A white waxy substance is normally on the skin of newborns).
February 1990: Had a disagreement with my grandmother about the placement of my daughter with my step-dad to get him off my back, but FALSE ALLEGATIONS made in a report dated 2-28-1990 ruined my opportunity to deal with the problems in court. I don't know who made the statements, but the report claims my mother spoke to the Lieutenant listed in the report by meeting with her shortly later.
1990: While trying to adjudicate parental rights, a witness said I would 'cut my daughter's ears off'.
1992: Lost my home and moved to another State to make my way.
1992: Someone I met in a coffee shop said she was making arrangements to experiment on Autistic Children by using vibration.
1994: Sued for child support by the Mother of my second Daughter by Long-arm Petition while trying to become self supporting.
1996: Organized in an effort to close a Hospital by ending County based referrals. (Hospital Staff was accused of causing the deaths of three patients while improperly restrained).
1996: Recruited to work as an advocate for vulnerable adults in the health care system.
1997: Granted a conditional release after being convicted of reckless driving (for driving on a flat).
This example does not provide a prosectution - its not supposed to. The goal is to show how easy it is to overlook the real causes and conditions of our circumstances, and the danger of attempting to do this work on our own. The government does not have to stop defamation, but others can and do.
In a prior effort to report, the author shared what was apparently inflammatory information - we believe it lead to an assault.
Is that wrong? Because a violent crime took place, the information used to justify it has to be 'toned down'. Offensive language must be removed, and ambiguity is safe - not crazy, or unreliable. There are many reports, and usually at least two reporters: the author, and the publisher. Perhaps the most tragic problem of all, is that the Internet can never really represent Itself. Its always representing others.
Our reputations may be sullied by ambiguous or unreliable accounts, but decisions made by the Courts can ruin our lives. If our only remaining opportunity for a safe defense or passage online becomes compromised, then we'll have no recourse at all.
While we may be mocked in our efforts to do so, God is not mocked, and we're seeking new accounts every day, but will it help them, or become harmful? We believe that without these lessons, it will become harmful to innocent children - and deadly to us all. Prior to this, that is how we were taught! Our powers of awareness during crisis are feeble, especially when traumatized.
Because the author was unaware of the consequences of his bad swing, he failed to respond to his friend's need for recovery. But what's become clear, is that God's effort to forgive them both is at work. These are difficult challenges fo face when we're young children, but we've been able to overcome our human failure to make things right by witnessing what God can do in these works. We're lucky to be able to pass it on.
Please see: Project Details for an example of the kinds of problems we've encountered with spoken language, and lessons in general.
An entry from 2017 was deleted from this record, but the report was also emailed to the landlord and law enforcement so I will not provide it again.